


Frustration

by Monmonmoiru



Series: Magnus Bane Appreciation Month [4]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt No Comfort, Magnus Appreciation Month, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2019-02-12 15:22:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12962337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Monmonmoiru/pseuds/Monmonmoiru
Summary: Magnus and Camille's relationship and how it ends





	Frustration

**Author's Note:**

> Song: [feelings are fatal by mxmtoon](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K6rGDNrivv8&ab_channel=mxmtoon)
> 
> I've been listening to this song for days and I can't get this out of my head. My solution is writing fic with it lol
> 
> Also, I wrote this at 1 a.m and I don't think I'm gonna do a good job with proofreading this so sorry lol
> 
> As always, thank you to anyone who read, like and comment!  
> (Please tell me, of course only if you want to, if there are any mistakes I made!)

**Prompt:** **Music**

* * *

 

_I’m happy for you_

_I’m smiling for you_

_I’d do anything for you, for you_

_It’s always for you_

_And never for me_

_And I need it to stop_

_So let me tell you please_

 

"Camille... I have something to tell you."

 

"What is it, Magnus? Actually, I don't have time for this. We have a party to attend and your talking will make us late for it." Camille says, not even bother to look at her lover's face

 

The warlock lets out a sad sigh. "Yes, of course, I apologise. Let us go, my darling." He offers the vampire his hand and leads them to the cart.

 

During the ride, Magnus doesn't say a single word. Thinking that he's just sulking, Camille rolls her eyes and glare at him before putting on her typical sorry mask. "Why are you sulking, darling? Is it because I didn't listen to you earlier? This is ridiculous, you are behaving like a child now." She says crossly, but the lack of response from him alarms her. She tilts Magnus' head so he's facing her and say, "I'm sorry," before kissing him.

 

A weak smile appears on the warlock face at the apologise he thinks is real. "No need to say that, your things are more important anyway."

 

'I'd endure anything for Camille.' Magnus thinks. He always regrets the promise later on.

 

_I’m always sad_

_And I’m always lonely_

_But I can’t tell you_

_That I’m breaking slowly_

_Closed doors_

_Locked in, no keys_

_Keeping my feelings hidden_

_There is no ease_

_I need it to stop_

_And I want to be able_

_To open up but,_

_My feelings are fatal_

_(My feelings are fatal)_

 

Sitting alone on the balcony of their flat, Magnus is nursing a cup of tea while waiting for his lover to come back from her trip overseas. He misses her. Camille had been the one who saved him, giving him the will to live again. She becomes his light. And yet, there are feelings hidden deep inside of him that he can never understand. It makes him feel uncomfortable, unsettling and lonely even when she's present with him.

 

The sound of horses neighing as the cart roll to a stop causes Magnus to pull himself out of his thoughts. Camille is back.

 

Rushing down so he's standing at the door, he notices there is a guy that comes with her, carrying her things. Not trying to think too deeply about it, he greets the vampire with a hug. "Camille, my love, you are back! How was the trip?

 

"Yes, darling, I'm back. The trip was wonderful. Also, this Tony, my companion during the trip," Magnus squints at that, "and he's just here to help me carry my luggage back!"

 

"Well, thanks, Tony, but I can take it from here." Magnus puts on a fake smile and takes the luggage from him. "Well then, Camille, come inside. We have a lot of things to catch up to!"

 

With his back to the vampire as walk into the house, Magnus never sees a sly grin on her lips as she quickly pulls Tony in for a kiss and then pushes him away before slamming the door at the guy's face.

 

As for the warlock, as Camille is back, the hidden feeling has returned to him.

 

_How many times_

_Must I keep it inside_

_I need to let go_

_And I swear that I’ve tried_

_But opening up_

_Means trusting others_

_And that’s just too much,_

_I don’t want to bother_

_So I’ll keep it inside_

_And bury it deep_

_I know it’s not healthy_

_But you won’t hear a peep though_

 

"Let us help you, Magnus..."

 

"There is nothing to help, Catarina. I'm perfectly happy, thank you very much!" Magnus denies vehemently.

 

Ragnor is starting to get pissed at him and his attitude. "Stop it, Magnus. Don't you see? That woman is destroying you! Standing in front of us right now is no longer the vibrant and lively Magnus, it's just a fake and sad version of you!"

 

Clenching and then unclenching his hands several times, Magnus shouts back, "I know, alright? I know! But I can't do it to her. She saved me. I owe her that!"

 

"You don't owe her anything!" Now it's Catarina's turn to shout at Magnus. She then softens her voice, "We know that you know there's something fishy about her. At least talk to us, Magnus."

 

"N-no, I can't" He shakes his head sadly.

 

They've been like this for hours.

 

When Ragnor finally snaps, he throws his hand up in defeat. "You know what, why are we even bother with him?" A stern glare from Catarina doesn’t deter him, "No matter what we say, you refuse to listen. This is a losing battle for everyone. Come on, Cat, let's get out of here and leave this man alone with his liquor."

 

Soon enough, Magnus is alone once again with a bottle of whiskey grip tightly in his hand. 'Ragnor is right. Why bother at all when nothing's going to work out in the end?' The warlock thinks before downing another cup of whiskey he just poured out again, drowning himself in sorrow.

 

_I’m always sad_

_And I’m always lonely_

_I could never tell you_

_That I’m breaking slowly_

_Closed doors_

_Locked in, no keys_

_Keeping my feelings hidden_

_There is no ease_

_I need it to stop_

_And I want to be able_

_To open up but,_

_My feelings are fatal_

_(My feelings are fatal)_

Today is finally the date. Magnus Bane is risking everything by deciding to give Camille his heart and soul forever. The ring box gripped tightly in his hand as he raises his hand to knock the door to signal his coming in. When he opens the door, the sight before him causes his world to fall apart.

 

On the bed lay Camille and a guy. They are both naked and looks like they are deer caught in the headlight. "Magnus!" The vampire shouts his name, "At least asks if he can go in first!"

 

The warlock can't believe she just said that. Rage is building up in him. What right does she have to bring a man home, THEIR home and then tell him to knock on the door for permission to come in? None.

 

"Camille, get out of my flat!"

 

What surprises him is that she can still smirk at him in this situation. She slowly pulls herself and the man up and they step out after they are dressed again. The man goes out first, looking so smug that Magnus just wants to punch him square in the face, then comes the vampire. Stopping at the warlock and looking at him right in the eyes, she says, "This isn't over, Magnus. One day, you'll be missing me and crawling back to me." She places a hand on his cheek and places a kiss there before whispering in his ear, "See you around, Magnus." And she's gone.

 

During that time, Magnus has become rigid and tense. His breathing fastening and his vision become blurry. Finding a chair to sit once Camille's gone, he grips his hair tightly and muffles his sob. No, he will not cry over this. But he can't stop himself. Her betrayal has left a gaping hole in his soul. Anger suddenly overcomes him as he uses all of his strength to throw the ring box, leaving a dent in the wall. Sinking down into his sit, Magnus feels numb and remains there for a very long time.

 

When Catarina and Ragnor come running in with worry, they see a broken man sitting in the middle of a ruined flat.

 

"Magnus?" They call out his name with caution.

 

Turning his lifeless eyes to them, he whispers, "Feelings are fatal. There is no such thing as love for someone like me. Love is no longer what I need and I will no longer pursue it anymore."

**Author's Note:**

> I want to punch Camille if I ever have super strength lol


End file.
